The very best of FM commentary

Great commentary can stir our emotions and stick in our memories, becoming almost as unforgettable as the action itself. Commentary plays a vital part in the Football Manager match-day experience too, with hundreds of different lines appearing, all triggered by different events in your favourite simulation. Some only crop up during those special, once-in-a-save moments and, of course, there are some you’d rather never see. Here are the highs and lows of football illustrated by FM commentary lines.

“That’ll end up on end-of-season highlight reels!”

You’ve just witnessed something special, a belter from long-range, a volley into the top bracket. In fact, your team has been scoring a lot of beautiful goals recently. “We only score worldies” you’re saying to your mates.

This particular commentary line is only triggered by the greatest of strikes, sometimes by the players you least expect. The right-back who picks up on a loose clearance with a first-time howitzer, the industrious midfielder with an acrobatic piece of improvisation, these are the goals you could watch all day, every day.

“A wonderful move and finish! They look untouchable here.”

Your team is at the top of their game, stroking the ball around with one or two touches, like a game of keep-ball against the under 12s. As you watch the move unfold you realise there’s a way in, you’ve broken through the opposition backline and *slot* back of the net.

You lean back in your chair/sofa/train seat and smile. Football management is a piece of cake. 

“That would have been a quite majestic solo strike had it come off.”

You bought a winger from South America a few seasons back, sent him on loan to get a work permit and forgot to work him into your first team plans, but he’s too good to ignore. You give him a run of games but something’s missing, he’s not clinical enough, too tame in front of goal. You’ve tried to get him to stay late after training but he won’t listen.

In games he takes on one man, then another, jinks past the third to get in front of goal. “This time it’ll be different”, you think… but it never is.

“Can they salvage anything from this match?”

Not only is your promising prospect missing chances, but so is the rest of the team now – and you’re getting punished in the opposite box too. Confidence is low and the league leaders are up next. You decide to play them at their own game with an attacking formation, a 4-4-2 with advancing wingers and a license to roam.

It's safe to say it doesn’t work and you get caught on the break, away from home. How does that even happen? Before you know it it’s 2-0 after seven minutes, and then a third is added within the first 15. You’ve got your work cut out.

“The fans are flooding out of the ground.”

Following the thumping away to the leaders you’ve got a lifeline, an easy home tie against a team you haven’t lost to in years. An opportunity to get some goals and build some confidence.

A mindless, early red card is followed by a defensive mix-up between keeper and centre-back, it’s 1-0 and you’re slipping down the league, it’s all falling apart. You slam your head onto the keyboard in frustration, but, as your eyes return to your screen you see the home end empty, like a plug’s been pulled that swallows supporters whole. Back to square one.

“The coaching staff are off the bench!”

You’re 2-0 down at half-time. Again. Things are looking bleak. You give them an encouraging team talk to little effect and, deep down, you know the game is done, you’re preparing for the following fixtures already. If you’re lucky enough to make it that far into next week.

Suddenly, a goal out of nothing, your striker pounces on a mistake to get one back. Then another comes shortly after… a stunner from distance. You’re starting to believe. We couldn’t, could we?

A last-minute set-piece scramble seals the deal as your centre back brings home all three points. You’ve done it, comeback complete, you and your disciples leap from the technical area, the fourth official gives you a stern look but you don’t care. You’ve done it again, you genius.